Have you imagined losing someone that means everything to you ? Can you imagine you find the one that you love suddenly disappears the next day? Or he leaves you ? Or he finds someone else ? Someone that makes you laugh, makes you happy, suddenly changes 180 degree the next day ? 

That's how I feel right now, how after everything that we've been through, i mean nothing to him ? I just can't imagine that kind of feeling. If only we could set up someone's feeling , If only we could hold them like a money, we can see whether they are real or not. But then by doing so, we lean on our own strength, because "Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight" 

 I pray to God everyday, you know what's amazed me from God ? I know I can talk to Him about anything, just anything, I can talk about silly things, my fears, what happen today , just anything to Him, just like a child sharing her story to her parents, that's how I talk to God, but yah, I know it's hard, it needs FAITH, because you're talking to someone that you can't see, that may not directly talk to you, or whisper to your ear, but as 2 Corinthians 5:7 says "We live by faith not by sight" . Lately, I've been receiving tons of negativity from people around me, like everything I do isn't good, isn't right, it puts me under pressure and sometimes it distracts me from God , 1 Corinthians 2 : 5 So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. 

I'm afraid that how if someone that's close with me isn't the right one , so many doubts, insecurities, fears, I pray to God that He shows and leads me to the right way, if he's not the one then let it be, don't let my sadness, broken heart, etc drift me away from Him because I know Phillipians 2 : 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. I know God's in control. Each person that comes to our life is God's gift, God has something that He wants to deliver to us through those people,  Romans 8 :28 And we know that in all things(Good&Bad) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.