Dear Ivan Simeon :)

Sorry I cannot come to your farewell party, I missed the last chance to see you before you go. Anyway, thankyou for being such an incredible and unforgettable friend, thankyou for praying for me whenever I need it, you even prayed for me when I didn't ask you to. Thankyou for all advice that youve given bener2 thankyou. Thankyou for really just maintaining my spiritual growth, thankyou for really opening up my eyes to see Jesus more and more, growing closer to Him, knowing Him more and more, it's just been such a blessing to know you and become your best friend. 

I see that calling really strong that God has chosen you to be His servant, full time :) God really wants to use you incredibly amazing. That passion that you have , that fire, that burn for God, I can see that within you :) I pray for you that you will see God more and more, may He reveal Himself more as you walk with Him every single day. I pray may God put that thirst and hunger inside you that only Jesus can satisfy, I pray that wherever you are you will always bring that light, that overcome the darkness around you, light that will open up unbelievers to see Jesus, light that will bring repentance, and light that bring peace, change, joy, for your surrounding. 

May God sustain you with the Holy Spirit that He will guide you and lead you and tell you whatever God wants you to do, so that no longer you but Christ who lives in you (Galatians 2:20) I'm gonna miss you..terribly :( But I rejoice that you finally found your calling! That not everyone  gets that. Looking forward to seeing you again! jadi pendeta :D Hopefully you will be different from the rest, become God' servant that really takut sama Tuhan, doesn't tolerate sin, just speak whatever comes from God, preach it! May God protection be with you always, may He cover you with His blood. Good luck Ivan, so proud of you! SOOO PROUD! 

Psalm 21:6 

surely You have granted Ivan unending blessings and made Ivan glad with the joy of Your presence :)

One Step Ahead

My dinner :P

Last sunday in church, I clearly remember the altar call asked us to make commitment to Jesus, to pray 5 more mins than we usually do ( seek His presence) and be still and ask God what He wants us to do, the pastor then said "Maybe God want you to leave your comfort zone? For example, simple, start cooking?" Then I was like "Hmmm, God :/"

 Hahaha I had been afraid of fire for the past 18 years, I didn't even know how to use stove. I couldn't even stand near firework which is so beautiful. I'm blessed with family who can afford maids so I don't have to cook. Until I moved to Melbourne, I didn't bring my maid of course, hahaha so I have to do everything on my own including cooking and I kept saying to myself "I can't be like this forever, I mean I'm a woman and how can a woman cannot cook?! So embarrassing, I might be forever alone cos I cant' cook hahahaha :p" (Just kidding seriously I didn't say that one to myself) Then 3 days ago I planned to start cooking, I prayed to God "God please bless me, protect me, so that nothing bad will happen. I know You give me spirit of power and love not spirit of fear, so hear I am God taking one step ahead for You" Then I turned on the stove and nothing happened :D 

It's all about taking one step ahead. We cannot just be the same Christian for years, we must go to the next level, leave our comfort zone, and keep going up. Like ezekiel 47:3-5 the water was ankle deep, then the next thousand cubits, it rose, rose, until it was so deep anyone who cross would be drowned. It talks about Holy Spirit and next level. We should be so filled with holy spirit until He is the one who fully takes control of our life :)

Holaa, I'm back! Been so busy with moving out and stuff I was so exhausted and stressed out. But everytime I felt like I wanted to give up, Jesus always reminds me, that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Yes indeed, His sufficient for me tho I feel like giving up, I feel hopeless, I see His works, I see miracles happen. He's faithful and never once He leaves me. 

Jesus, I'm so madly,deeply, passionately in love with You. I've been learning about OBEDIENCE, been learning to obey what God asks me to do, and when we talk about OBEDIENCE we also talk about FAITH. They come together. We won't see miracles happen if we still rely on our logic (what we see), but when we have FAITH, we will see His miracles happen. I learn to obey Jesus, you know I've been praying for my family, but to be honest, I don't see any significant changes, I feel like, 'God I've been praying for a long time okay, why?!" I feel so disappointed, so hopeless, but I remember Isaiah 65:24 Before they call I will answer, while they are still speaking I will hear, I believe that God is actually listening to my problems, He already knows even before I tell Him, but why I still have to pray then? God is more concerned about your transformation, your obedience, your faith, a strong relationship with Him. 

Living Under God's Control

Today's sermon genuinelly touches my heart. 

LIVING UNDER GOD'S CONTROL

Life is so unpredictable. There's a time for good (desirable) and for bad (undesirable) and we cannot control them, So often we keep trying so hard to control our life so that good things will happen. But we don't realize how complex life is and it's to complex to be controlled. We aren't in control of our circumstances although we want to think that we can take control. God is the one who has control over our life, He has the authority to do anything He wants to do.

God can control our plans for our life but we can't control God's plans. Sometimes good things happen but many times bad things also happen in our life. And what happen to you when bad things happen to your life? For unbelievers, life will be meaningless, they will be upset and angry.

But for the children of God, every bad and good things that happen it means God's preparing a purpose for our life, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who LOVE GOD, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Rome 8:28)

 So for the believers, even bad things happen to their life, Life is still so beautiful, they don't lose hope, because they put their trust in God who's giving the best purpose for their life, life is so amazing because we have a great God, who's GOOD all the time. Even in bad times, praise him, say thanks, for every things that happen in our life doesn't coincidentally happen, God's working, God's preparing something Good for you, you don't have to worry. Everything happens @ the right time for a good purpose for us. 

I feel so blessed with today's sermon. It's just beyond beautiful. It reminds me all over again how great is my God. How good He is. I'm just amazed by Him. I put my life in His hands, though things don't go the way i've expected, but still my God is good, I can plan anything i want for my life but it's back to Him. He's the one who takes control over my life to bring a good purpose. 

From Out Of Nowhere

Procrastination results in sorrowful regret. Hahaha, I have 2 assignments, 1 due in 1 week reached 20%, another one in 2 weeks 0%, and I'll be kicked out soon and haven't done packing, but almost :) So today, 8.30 pm I decided to grab my devotional and started to have me and God time earlier than usual :) 

So it talks about From Out of Nowhere. We don't plan trouble, it comes on its own, out of nowhere. From my experiences, I always ask God "WHY" everytime bad things happen to me, but today I will learn to say "Thankyou Jesus" instead of blaming Him and become a demanding person. I realize that if life were easy, no problems, you are happy everyday, everything goes as you've planned, no sadness, no sorrow, I won't need God, I mean for what ? I'm happy all the time, nothing blocks my way, I will forget that Jesus is here, and maybe I will end up avoiding God because I'm afraid if I let God get involved in my life, He will reorganize plans that I've organized, take things that I love that actually for my own good according to His thought. 

Sometimes God has to crush you to the point you're weak, you can't do anything anymore, you have nothing left only God, because as 2 cor 12 : 9 says, For My power is made PERFECT in WEAKNESS. 

"What if Your blessings come through rain drops?"

"What if Your healing comes through tears?"

"What if trials of this life, is Your mercy in disguise?"

Laura Story - Blessings :)

House of Prayer

5:43pm, waiting for my laundry and I'm listening to Jadikanku rumah doaMu (Make me a house of prayer) by Pdt. Niko, haha I'm so lame yah maybe everyday listening to christian songs, but hey, it gives me strength and me time with Jesus :) 

Suddenly I remember all of my friends and families who haven't known who Jesus is, especially my family. I'm not exposing or something I wanna share because I believe that there are so many people go through the same thing like me. Everytime I see their pictures, I feel so sad, I mean, I want them to taste God's unfailing love, God's mercy, God's grace, how amazing it is to dwell in His presence. 

I feel so blessed like soooooo blessed that I came here to Melbourne and found a church that really builds me up, cell group, and encountered with God. And as I walk with Him, how I feel His love fills me everyday I feel like I have to share that love with those who haven't tasted it, and I know the most 'real' way to show them who don't believe in God  is through the way I live my life. I'm not in Indo with my family how can I show them physically that God lives in me? I show them that God lives in me through bbm, skype, instagram, anything that I can use to glorify His name, I'm not perfect and not everything that I post is right from other people' perspective, but I try my best. 

I've seen how my family's heart has become softer and softer each day, how they have opened their heart for Jesus little by little, it's not because I preach or whatever, it's truly because God works in them! Verse that I always hold on tight is Acts 16:31 Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved- you and your household! 

I pray to God that don't give up on me till every knees bows and every tongue confesses that Jesus is the Lord. I have faith yes and amen that all my families and friends will eventually turn back to Jesus, and confesses that He's the Lord, He's real, and He's the God that has been there for them, blessing them, and He's the provider! 

I can't change people' heart, no matter how hard I preach, it requires God's work, and it all comes back to His time. My lil sister who is in Indo texted me once about my family how they have opened their ear & heart to hear "Jesus", i'm speechless, and I cried , and I couldn't stop saying , God thankyou Jesus, thankyou. He works in mysterious ways that I will never be able to grasp. My biggest goal in my life, is to be a channel of blessings for many people, believers or unbelievers, sound so impossible and naif and too religious, It's hard I know, it requires a heart that fully wants to serve others without grumbling, love without boundaries, heart that fully wants to forgive. How I want my life to be a house of prayer :)

A Perfect Day

3.40 am in the morning. Working on my assignment but really am I really working? Noo. Been opening mic word & excel since 11 pm but yaah you can see I've been procrastinating all night. This teacher is a bit, hmm, indescribable, it's due in week 10, but he sets due date for each part, seriously? Just sit tight and I'll hand it in week 10. I was youtube-ing and found this video :

This song really cheers me up :D 'A Perfect Day'  and also the MV! Totally describes my fav weather. Blue skies & sunshine :D! Listen to this song just somehow makes me relax and happy!! 

Anyway today 3 of my cell leaders, told me things that actually not really surprising because I've already known but hearing that news from their mouth just somehow opened my eyes more, I'm not sad, disappointed yes I'm human haha but overall, I'm okay with it. Because I believe, every single person that has ever been in my life and still in my life, wether they gave bad memories or good memories, God uses them to teach me lessons, and God has a good purpose for me :) Just His way to bring me to that purpose that I will never be able to understand. 

I have to admit I had the best hmm almost 2 months maybe in my life, happiness that I felt everyday, the smile, they were beautiful but just not at the right time :) I always thank God to give me an ability to keep smiling no matter what happens in my life, somehow I just can't stop smiling, there are times when I just want to cry but it doesn't take long for me to smile again hehehe. Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! 

After all things that happened in my life, I learn so many lessons :

1.I become more dependent on Jesus

I've been praying lately, God make me lonely till I want no one more than You Lord! 

Shouldn't have asked for that haha. But God really answered my prayer. He took away someone that used to be my someone. At the first time, I was like, really God? Why that someone? But as the time went by I realized, isn't that supposed to be? My someone should be one and only Jesus? Why I put someone else above Him? Isn't that my prayer? I want no one more than Him? I have trust issue with people actually, eventho I may seem like an extrovert person, I can get along with people that I just met 5 mins ago, I have that trust issue because of my past :) But again, God uses anything anyone doesn't have to be good things to teach me lesson and here I learn to trust Him completely. 

2. I learn to forgive and keep on loving like Jesus loves me :)

If you were in my position especially girls, you would struggle with forgiving people. Hahaha but really, I  FORGIVE :) and I'm learning how to apologize first now hopefully as soon as possible I can approach people that  hurt me and say sorry first :)

3.I become closer with my friends especially my FA

I hang out with them a lot and share stories and well, so blessed that they even pray for me!

4.I know more about people' personality 

5.I know more about myself

But really I think the key is, forgiveness. If you feel too bitter, there's nothing you can do but COME TO GOD. No one can force you or encourage you to forgive people. Ask Jesus to soften your heart <3 nbsp="" p="">

As a human, I have brain which contains memories hahaha and so many times even little things can remind you of people that have ever been in your life and as for me memories that bother me are sad memories that bring bitterness, but I always smile and listen to this kind of song if I can't think of any christian songs at that time, and say or write "I FORGIVE" :)