If you lose

Forgiveness

I join sort of Bible Study at my church and yesterday I learned about forgiveness. Ko Suyono, who was the teacher that day, he talked about FORGIVENESS. It was a slap in my face, he said that mostly in relationship you will be hurt but who are you not willing to forgive the one that hurts you? Even Jesus forgives you so many many many times, uncountable. He's God, He's the creator of this earth, He's Holy, He's King, but still He forgives you. If we confess our sin, He is FAITHFUL, and just will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). 

See? He remains faithful even after we fail Him, and He even purify us from all unrighteousness! So undeserved but that's our God, He's love (1 John 4:8). And Ko Suyono said, if you don't want to forgive those who hurt you then you say that you are The God right? You are higher than God, this sentence such a slap in my faceeeee! I'm nothing but a dust even the King forgives people. He has been crucified, mocked, tortured, etc, you know the story, still on the cross He said "Father, FORGIVE them, for they don't know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). He made me speechless, the way they hurt Jesus can't compare to what my friends, my family, etc hurt me, totally nothing but still Jesus prayed for those people and forgave them.

And still often we deny ourselves we say "I've already forgiven him/her but when we meet the person who hurts us, it's so hard to say Hi, to approach them first, to call them and hang out together. One thing that I still learn today is how to forget. You can forgive people but I agree that the scars remain years and years even forever, you can't just forget things that they've done that hurt you, words they've said that hurt you and there's still a bitterness in your life and I don't want to feel bitter for the rest of my life, but how to forget? I still learn that. I have been through up and down in this life, family, friends, relationship, a lot of things. I'm not exaggerating I just won't share my past here, past is past, and so many things hurt me but thanks Jesus, He's healed my heart and made it new, out of brokenness comes good things :) 

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and FORGIVE one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

Rules

I'm in the middle of doing my hair now, preparing myself for church tomorrow because I have to go at 7.30am I don't wanna be in rush lol, then suddenly this thing popped out in my mind.

Girls or boys whatever if you want to set up kind of "rules" for your bf or gf, make sure those are NOT rules that make them obey you and if they disobeyed those rules they would feel guilty and afraid of losing you, set up rules according to God, for example I always tell guy who is close with me not to go clubbing, drink beers and smoke, those are big NO! I don't want him not to do that because of me, I want him not to do that because those things don't please God, and anything that doesn't please God is a sin. And I want him to realize that 1 Cor 10:23 All things are lawful but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up, does smoking build you up? Does going to the club build you up? I still don't know if clubbing is a sin or not I think there are still pros and cons but personally I won't go for that, as it doesn't benefit me and I don't want to be addicted to it and separates me from God and it doesn't please God at all. So, yah haha that's my opinion. No hate. Back to the topic, so set rules based on bible, not based on your opinion, because bible is the eternal word of God (Matt 24:35) and Unchanging revelation of the truth.

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am i trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I wouldn't be a servant of Christ.
Acts 5:29 We must obey God rather than men.
Make sure you both please Him not pleasing one another. 

John 4 : 14

"But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal" 

Our soul desperately craves to be saturated, therefore people will always try to find something to worship that will saturate their soul. And in order to satisfy their thirst, they come to the wrong well (earthly pleasures that we know they aren't everlasting).

I see a lot of people, they seem to have a perfect life, life fill of unicorns and rainbows, yet still they don't feel enough, they don't feel happy. They keep on searching and they never be satisfied, they keep wanting more and they become stress and not happy at all

Because God actually put a hole in our heart that only Himself can satisfy. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).

Lately I've been listening to Casting Crowns - The Well, it was played in my church during good friday service. "I have what you need but you keep on searching, I've done all the work, but you keep on working. You can spend your whole life chasing what's missing but that empty inside it just ain't gonna listen. When nothing can satisfy, just come to the well. All who thirst will thirst no more, they will find what their souls long for, the world will try but it can never fill. Leave it all behind, your pursuit of perfection, your fear of rejection, temporary pleasures, earthly pleasures, leave it all behind, and come to the well" :)

LOVE

LOVE such a beautiful word but it's being abused nowadays. The word's become so cheap and this beautiful word can lead people to wrong directions. I don't find any real and perfect love in human. But everytime I imagine LOVE that Jesus's given to me, all my bad thoughts about love suddenly disappear. I mean like, God's love is real, it's not only written in the scripture, but I feel it every single day as I walk with Him. To be honest, in relationship with human, there will always be disappointments, hurts, sadness, tears, but in Jesus I find peace, comfort, joy, that come from brokenness that I feel with people.

I'm reading a book by Chad Eastham about "The Truth About Dating , Love, and Just Being Friends"
It's for teen, and I recommend this book. What I wanna share here, is about Just Being Friends. "Just Friends" is tough to hear when you're hoping for much more. But let's not let the term just friend minimize friendship. You can be just friends with an opposite sex, if you view your opposite sex as potential for romantic relationships, then you are limiting the human experience. And if you put your romance goggles to view them, then a few things will happen :

1. You'll only be looking at people to see what they can do for your needs.
2. You will miss out on people's unique identities, because you will limit them to their romantic capacity.
3. You will be ignoring the importance of wisdom of seeing one another as "brothers and sisters" in Christ, which opens up relationship well beyond just the romantic aspects.
4. You will miss out on learning self-control and the experience of shaping your minds and hearts through your behaviour. You don't have to be controlled by every thought and urge that pops up.

It's hard to be just friends I know, I've ever experienced this before. It's hard to let go people who care for you that you think none of your friends can care for you that much. Once you have felt how God really loves you, God alone is enough. Put God as your first priority, He will lead you to the right person at the right time.

So when you are still single (Doesn't mean when you are in relationship you don't need to serve Him :p) , use your time wisely to serve Him, get to know Him more, get to know His heart. It's hard to do that simply because we can't see God, but personally I believe, that His love is everywhere surrounding me, He use anything anyone to show His love for me, even from brokenness He shows His love, cause I believe His plans aren't harmful, but they give hope and future (Jer 29 : 11)

Love isn't only a term between boyfriend girlfriend, it's much more than that, James 4: 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. As last week sermon said, don't be afraid to miss out things in this world to get better things in The Heaven later. Chase God first! Without men God is still God, but men without God is nothing. You don't have to be afraid, the right one has been prepared by God, win God's heart first. Maybe you've been in love so many times but you ended up getting hurt, have you ever thought that maybe that's one of God's way to remind you that you need to fix your relationship with Him first, be thirst of His love, come to His well.

Have you imagined losing someone that means everything to you ? Can you imagine you find the one that you love suddenly disappears the next day? Or he leaves you ? Or he finds someone else ? Someone that makes you laugh, makes you happy, suddenly changes 180 degree the next day ? 

That's how I feel right now, how after everything that we've been through, i mean nothing to him ? I just can't imagine that kind of feeling. If only we could set up someone's feeling , If only we could hold them like a money, we can see whether they are real or not. But then by doing so, we lean on our own strength, because "Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight" 

 I pray to God everyday, you know what's amazed me from God ? I know I can talk to Him about anything, just anything, I can talk about silly things, my fears, what happen today , just anything to Him, just like a child sharing her story to her parents, that's how I talk to God, but yah, I know it's hard, it needs FAITH, because you're talking to someone that you can't see, that may not directly talk to you, or whisper to your ear, but as 2 Corinthians 5:7 says "We live by faith not by sight" . Lately, I've been receiving tons of negativity from people around me, like everything I do isn't good, isn't right, it puts me under pressure and sometimes it distracts me from God , 1 Corinthians 2 : 5 So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. 

I'm afraid that how if someone that's close with me isn't the right one , so many doubts, insecurities, fears, I pray to God that He shows and leads me to the right way, if he's not the one then let it be, don't let my sadness, broken heart, etc drift me away from Him because I know Phillipians 2 : 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. I know God's in control. Each person that comes to our life is God's gift, God has something that He wants to deliver to us through those people,  Romans 8 :28 And we know that in all things(Good&Bad) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.