House of Prayer

5:43pm, waiting for my laundry and I'm listening to Jadikanku rumah doaMu (Make me a house of prayer) by Pdt. Niko, haha I'm so lame yah maybe everyday listening to christian songs, but hey, it gives me strength and me time with Jesus :) 

Suddenly I remember all of my friends and families who haven't known who Jesus is, especially my family. I'm not exposing or something I wanna share because I believe that there are so many people go through the same thing like me. Everytime I see their pictures, I feel so sad, I mean, I want them to taste God's unfailing love, God's mercy, God's grace, how amazing it is to dwell in His presence. 

I feel so blessed like soooooo blessed that I came here to Melbourne and found a church that really builds me up, cell group, and encountered with God. And as I walk with Him, how I feel His love fills me everyday I feel like I have to share that love with those who haven't tasted it, and I know the most 'real' way to show them who don't believe in God  is through the way I live my life. I'm not in Indo with my family how can I show them physically that God lives in me? I show them that God lives in me through bbm, skype, instagram, anything that I can use to glorify His name, I'm not perfect and not everything that I post is right from other people' perspective, but I try my best. 

I've seen how my family's heart has become softer and softer each day, how they have opened their heart for Jesus little by little, it's not because I preach or whatever, it's truly because God works in them! Verse that I always hold on tight is Acts 16:31 Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved- you and your household! 

I pray to God that don't give up on me till every knees bows and every tongue confesses that Jesus is the Lord. I have faith yes and amen that all my families and friends will eventually turn back to Jesus, and confesses that He's the Lord, He's real, and He's the God that has been there for them, blessing them, and He's the provider! 

I can't change people' heart, no matter how hard I preach, it requires God's work, and it all comes back to His time. My lil sister who is in Indo texted me once about my family how they have opened their ear & heart to hear "Jesus", i'm speechless, and I cried , and I couldn't stop saying , God thankyou Jesus, thankyou. He works in mysterious ways that I will never be able to grasp. My biggest goal in my life, is to be a channel of blessings for many people, believers or unbelievers, sound so impossible and naif and too religious, It's hard I know, it requires a heart that fully wants to serve others without grumbling, love without boundaries, heart that fully wants to forgive. How I want my life to be a house of prayer :)

A Perfect Day

3.40 am in the morning. Working on my assignment but really am I really working? Noo. Been opening mic word & excel since 11 pm but yaah you can see I've been procrastinating all night. This teacher is a bit, hmm, indescribable, it's due in week 10, but he sets due date for each part, seriously? Just sit tight and I'll hand it in week 10. I was youtube-ing and found this video :

This song really cheers me up :D 'A Perfect Day'  and also the MV! Totally describes my fav weather. Blue skies & sunshine :D! Listen to this song just somehow makes me relax and happy!! 

Anyway today 3 of my cell leaders, told me things that actually not really surprising because I've already known but hearing that news from their mouth just somehow opened my eyes more, I'm not sad, disappointed yes I'm human haha but overall, I'm okay with it. Because I believe, every single person that has ever been in my life and still in my life, wether they gave bad memories or good memories, God uses them to teach me lessons, and God has a good purpose for me :) Just His way to bring me to that purpose that I will never be able to understand. 

I have to admit I had the best hmm almost 2 months maybe in my life, happiness that I felt everyday, the smile, they were beautiful but just not at the right time :) I always thank God to give me an ability to keep smiling no matter what happens in my life, somehow I just can't stop smiling, there are times when I just want to cry but it doesn't take long for me to smile again hehehe. Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! 

After all things that happened in my life, I learn so many lessons :

1.I become more dependent on Jesus

I've been praying lately, God make me lonely till I want no one more than You Lord! 

Shouldn't have asked for that haha. But God really answered my prayer. He took away someone that used to be my someone. At the first time, I was like, really God? Why that someone? But as the time went by I realized, isn't that supposed to be? My someone should be one and only Jesus? Why I put someone else above Him? Isn't that my prayer? I want no one more than Him? I have trust issue with people actually, eventho I may seem like an extrovert person, I can get along with people that I just met 5 mins ago, I have that trust issue because of my past :) But again, God uses anything anyone doesn't have to be good things to teach me lesson and here I learn to trust Him completely. 

2. I learn to forgive and keep on loving like Jesus loves me :)

If you were in my position especially girls, you would struggle with forgiving people. Hahaha but really, I  FORGIVE :) and I'm learning how to apologize first now hopefully as soon as possible I can approach people that  hurt me and say sorry first :)

3.I become closer with my friends especially my FA

I hang out with them a lot and share stories and well, so blessed that they even pray for me!

4.I know more about people' personality 

5.I know more about myself

But really I think the key is, forgiveness. If you feel too bitter, there's nothing you can do but COME TO GOD. No one can force you or encourage you to forgive people. Ask Jesus to soften your heart <3 nbsp="" p="">

As a human, I have brain which contains memories hahaha and so many times even little things can remind you of people that have ever been in your life and as for me memories that bother me are sad memories that bring bitterness, but I always smile and listen to this kind of song if I can't think of any christian songs at that time, and say or write "I FORGIVE" :)

If you lose

Forgiveness

I join sort of Bible Study at my church and yesterday I learned about forgiveness. Ko Suyono, who was the teacher that day, he talked about FORGIVENESS. It was a slap in my face, he said that mostly in relationship you will be hurt but who are you not willing to forgive the one that hurts you? Even Jesus forgives you so many many many times, uncountable. He's God, He's the creator of this earth, He's Holy, He's King, but still He forgives you. If we confess our sin, He is FAITHFUL, and just will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). 

See? He remains faithful even after we fail Him, and He even purify us from all unrighteousness! So undeserved but that's our God, He's love (1 John 4:8). And Ko Suyono said, if you don't want to forgive those who hurt you then you say that you are The God right? You are higher than God, this sentence such a slap in my faceeeee! I'm nothing but a dust even the King forgives people. He has been crucified, mocked, tortured, etc, you know the story, still on the cross He said "Father, FORGIVE them, for they don't know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). He made me speechless, the way they hurt Jesus can't compare to what my friends, my family, etc hurt me, totally nothing but still Jesus prayed for those people and forgave them.

And still often we deny ourselves we say "I've already forgiven him/her but when we meet the person who hurts us, it's so hard to say Hi, to approach them first, to call them and hang out together. One thing that I still learn today is how to forget. You can forgive people but I agree that the scars remain years and years even forever, you can't just forget things that they've done that hurt you, words they've said that hurt you and there's still a bitterness in your life and I don't want to feel bitter for the rest of my life, but how to forget? I still learn that. I have been through up and down in this life, family, friends, relationship, a lot of things. I'm not exaggerating I just won't share my past here, past is past, and so many things hurt me but thanks Jesus, He's healed my heart and made it new, out of brokenness comes good things :) 

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and FORGIVE one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

Rules

I'm in the middle of doing my hair now, preparing myself for church tomorrow because I have to go at 7.30am I don't wanna be in rush lol, then suddenly this thing popped out in my mind.

Girls or boys whatever if you want to set up kind of "rules" for your bf or gf, make sure those are NOT rules that make them obey you and if they disobeyed those rules they would feel guilty and afraid of losing you, set up rules according to God, for example I always tell guy who is close with me not to go clubbing, drink beers and smoke, those are big NO! I don't want him not to do that because of me, I want him not to do that because those things don't please God, and anything that doesn't please God is a sin. And I want him to realize that 1 Cor 10:23 All things are lawful but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up, does smoking build you up? Does going to the club build you up? I still don't know if clubbing is a sin or not I think there are still pros and cons but personally I won't go for that, as it doesn't benefit me and I don't want to be addicted to it and separates me from God and it doesn't please God at all. So, yah haha that's my opinion. No hate. Back to the topic, so set rules based on bible, not based on your opinion, because bible is the eternal word of God (Matt 24:35) and Unchanging revelation of the truth.

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am i trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I wouldn't be a servant of Christ.
Acts 5:29 We must obey God rather than men.
Make sure you both please Him not pleasing one another. 

John 4 : 14

"But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal" 

Our soul desperately craves to be saturated, therefore people will always try to find something to worship that will saturate their soul. And in order to satisfy their thirst, they come to the wrong well (earthly pleasures that we know they aren't everlasting).

I see a lot of people, they seem to have a perfect life, life fill of unicorns and rainbows, yet still they don't feel enough, they don't feel happy. They keep on searching and they never be satisfied, they keep wanting more and they become stress and not happy at all

Because God actually put a hole in our heart that only Himself can satisfy. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).

Lately I've been listening to Casting Crowns - The Well, it was played in my church during good friday service. "I have what you need but you keep on searching, I've done all the work, but you keep on working. You can spend your whole life chasing what's missing but that empty inside it just ain't gonna listen. When nothing can satisfy, just come to the well. All who thirst will thirst no more, they will find what their souls long for, the world will try but it can never fill. Leave it all behind, your pursuit of perfection, your fear of rejection, temporary pleasures, earthly pleasures, leave it all behind, and come to the well" :)