LOVE

LOVE such a beautiful word but it's being abused nowadays. The word's become so cheap and this beautiful word can lead people to wrong directions. I don't find any real and perfect love in human. But everytime I imagine LOVE that Jesus's given to me, all my bad thoughts about love suddenly disappear. I mean like, God's love is real, it's not only written in the scripture, but I feel it every single day as I walk with Him. To be honest, in relationship with human, there will always be disappointments, hurts, sadness, tears, but in Jesus I find peace, comfort, joy, that come from brokenness that I feel with people.

I'm reading a book by Chad Eastham about "The Truth About Dating , Love, and Just Being Friends"
It's for teen, and I recommend this book. What I wanna share here, is about Just Being Friends. "Just Friends" is tough to hear when you're hoping for much more. But let's not let the term just friend minimize friendship. You can be just friends with an opposite sex, if you view your opposite sex as potential for romantic relationships, then you are limiting the human experience. And if you put your romance goggles to view them, then a few things will happen :

1. You'll only be looking at people to see what they can do for your needs.
2. You will miss out on people's unique identities, because you will limit them to their romantic capacity.
3. You will be ignoring the importance of wisdom of seeing one another as "brothers and sisters" in Christ, which opens up relationship well beyond just the romantic aspects.
4. You will miss out on learning self-control and the experience of shaping your minds and hearts through your behaviour. You don't have to be controlled by every thought and urge that pops up.

It's hard to be just friends I know, I've ever experienced this before. It's hard to let go people who care for you that you think none of your friends can care for you that much. Once you have felt how God really loves you, God alone is enough. Put God as your first priority, He will lead you to the right person at the right time.

So when you are still single (Doesn't mean when you are in relationship you don't need to serve Him :p) , use your time wisely to serve Him, get to know Him more, get to know His heart. It's hard to do that simply because we can't see God, but personally I believe, that His love is everywhere surrounding me, He use anything anyone to show His love for me, even from brokenness He shows His love, cause I believe His plans aren't harmful, but they give hope and future (Jer 29 : 11)

Love isn't only a term between boyfriend girlfriend, it's much more than that, James 4: 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. As last week sermon said, don't be afraid to miss out things in this world to get better things in The Heaven later. Chase God first! Without men God is still God, but men without God is nothing. You don't have to be afraid, the right one has been prepared by God, win God's heart first. Maybe you've been in love so many times but you ended up getting hurt, have you ever thought that maybe that's one of God's way to remind you that you need to fix your relationship with Him first, be thirst of His love, come to His well.

Have you imagined losing someone that means everything to you ? Can you imagine you find the one that you love suddenly disappears the next day? Or he leaves you ? Or he finds someone else ? Someone that makes you laugh, makes you happy, suddenly changes 180 degree the next day ? 

That's how I feel right now, how after everything that we've been through, i mean nothing to him ? I just can't imagine that kind of feeling. If only we could set up someone's feeling , If only we could hold them like a money, we can see whether they are real or not. But then by doing so, we lean on our own strength, because "Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight" 

 I pray to God everyday, you know what's amazed me from God ? I know I can talk to Him about anything, just anything, I can talk about silly things, my fears, what happen today , just anything to Him, just like a child sharing her story to her parents, that's how I talk to God, but yah, I know it's hard, it needs FAITH, because you're talking to someone that you can't see, that may not directly talk to you, or whisper to your ear, but as 2 Corinthians 5:7 says "We live by faith not by sight" . Lately, I've been receiving tons of negativity from people around me, like everything I do isn't good, isn't right, it puts me under pressure and sometimes it distracts me from God , 1 Corinthians 2 : 5 So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. 

I'm afraid that how if someone that's close with me isn't the right one , so many doubts, insecurities, fears, I pray to God that He shows and leads me to the right way, if he's not the one then let it be, don't let my sadness, broken heart, etc drift me away from Him because I know Phillipians 2 : 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. I know God's in control. Each person that comes to our life is God's gift, God has something that He wants to deliver to us through those people,  Romans 8 :28 And we know that in all things(Good&Bad) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Happiness Comes from a Pair of Jelly Sandals

Today I bought a pair of transparent Jelly Sandals and i'm so happpppyyy!

I asked my friends what they think about it and all said they are ugly and some said so weird haha. But i don't know i like it so much! It's comfy and so simple and so clean and also so vintage haha. I don't care what they say I'm happy with my choice :p 

Then this story reminds me of 2 weeks of my gloomy days. I've been so gloomy eversince I came back from Indonesia like I think a lot and everything just distracted me from God. I've been thinking negatively about my friends, school, boy, etc and now , tonight I've just realized that's not me at all like totally not me. The most unbelievable thing is that I felt like people that are close with me don't love me sincerely and they were just being fake. I felt like all these times I love them so much but why they acted like that? And I started to think that if I feel disappointed with them that means I don't love them sincerely enough because God says "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love" ( Ephesians 4:2). I should love them without hoping they love me back (That's my flesh still fail :) ) because that's how Jesus loves me, He loves me just the way I am, He loves me because He wants to not because I love Him first. 

Then about boy, yaah so I heard rumors that saying he likes someone that I know haha and it did hurt me and I started to feel like I'm ugly I'm nothing I'm not pretty I just compared myself to her everything I say every thoughts that came up all just negativity and I feel like Wow, I'm not being grateful at all "For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving" (1 Timothy 4:4), 

So yaaah all my negative thoughts definitely saying that I didn't respect God's creature. And from this jelly shoes, I learn a lot, that we shouldn't judge someone by his/her appearances, as my friends said that this is ugly but they maybe havent seen how beautiful it is if I wear it with right clothes, and I feel happy and it fits me well and yah I feel good :) It's just like what's important is not what people think about you but the most important thing is how You are in front of God. And you are worthy and you are loved and you are everything to Him, He sacrificed His Son to wash away your and my sins, there's no greater love than this. 

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Laura Story - Blessings

I've just found this song and feel so blessed. Too often we doubt our God when we're facing difficult times, like, "Is God really there?" "Then why He lets me face this problem?" Then this lyric reminds me over and over again how God never leaves me alone, like NEVER. I'm trying to look the problems that i'm facing from different perspective, like this "What if trials on this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are His mercies in disguise?" I know my God never lets me face problems that He knows i can't handle. And i believe through every rain, every storms, every hard nights He has a beautiful plan for me, He has a disguise purpose for my life. "You can't see the rainbow without the rain". "What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?" If you drink 'water' from this world you will always be thirsty, the water from God can satisfy your thirst, and you won't be thirsty anymore (John 4 : 14 But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.) 

Almost 2 months ! hehe i love melbourne so far! I'm getting used to living in my room, which i've been complaining over and over again. 

Today's BETHANY INTERNATIONAL CHURCH christmas celebration 'More Than a Story' :D I feel blessed for the church God has led me to :) I love my fellowship group, the koko2 cici2 who are so nice and friendly and take a good care of me. I love my church, i just feel so into it and it brings me closer to God, i feel excited to go to church every sunday and join the community and events they hold. 

I wanna share what i got today from the church. Christmas is more than a story that we hear every year, there's more than that, It's about how we share the love, how we throw away our selfishness, how we pray for the others more than we pray for ourselves, how we throw away our "My,myself,I" thing. Repent,repent,repent, it's never been too late for God, open your heart for Him, give Him space, surrender all Your life to Him, all of your heart. Ask Him to give you the holy spirit, so in every season, every good and bad times, you will be reinforced by the holy spirit so when the bad things hit you, you won't rely on human, you won't look for them anymore, you will look for Jesus, the one and only. You won't rely your life on human anymore, you will surrender everything and trust Him that He's the only one who can solve your problem. And let the holy spirit overflow your heart so that you can be a channel of blessing for the other people, for your surroundings, for your friends, for your families, etc. Humble yourself and ask God to fill you with Holy Spirit so that in every move you make and everything you do God work upon it through the Holy spirit so only God' will work upon it, no more "My plan" "My will' etc, He loves you soo much, he has died for you on the cross, why do you still doubt Him that He has the best plan for you, He takes care of you, He helps you to solve your problem, He's there for you. If He hadn't loved you , He wouldn't have died on cross to save you :) God bless you !

Happy Graduation Day Cindy Tandiyah! 

I'm so proud of you ! All your hard work paid off finally ! You look so beautiful in your own made dress ;') I wish i could be there but i can't. My prayers go without wherever you are wherever you go. May Jesus bless you in every step that you take and every move you make. No you are entering a new world, not as a student anymore, but as a full time worker. May He bless you in every decision you make and i know you will be very very successful ;') I see how God works upon your life, for every sorrow, tears, ups and downs, He never disappoints you right  ? It may be hard to understand His plans at first but you see how everything is perfect and beautiful at His time. You're such an inspiration and role model. I miss you so bad and I want to see you in that dress in real but maybe later ;') I love you so much and can't wait to see you. Keep praising His name because without Him you can't be there today :') Remember everytime you feel sad and down, JESUS IS THERE !!!! HE'S RIGHT BESIDE YOU AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FEEL HIS PRESENCE !!!!! HUG HIM FIND HIM !!! ;') 

First post from Melbourneeeeeeee! Hahaha i'm here finallyyyy !! Living my new life, new experiences, new environment, breaking out my comfort zone !! I adapt very fast here, except for the room, it's so hard to be an underaged student, can't have my own apartment, can't make a contract for mobile phone, people ask so many things if you want to buy something like modem! yesss i bought modem last week and the seller asked so many things, passport , id card, phone number, credit card blah blah blaaaaaah.

 I don't really like my room, i'm a very clean person tbh, i wanna throw up if i see something dirty and ah i don't know if i tell you personally you will think i'm weird but seriously i'm a very hygienic person so yaaa i spend 2 hours everyday cleaning up my room! And i get a very weird phobia and , it is sink's hole! OMG this is so weird i know but i find something like sticks inside the hole omagaomagaaa i can't tell you how much i hate it! It's very disgusting nooo way ! i close my eyes everytime i wash my face and brush teeth because i don't want to see the hole ! I just can't adapt with the room. 

But i have to admit life is so different now, you are forced to be independent, no maids, no drivers, oh! I have my toes scuffed because i walked too long, haha yes! And i learn how to use washing machine aka laundry! first time in my life haha when i first used it i was like "Oh, so this is how it works" The sad thing is still, i can't cook and i can't use stove, so i have to buy food outside which is more expensive and blaah, when i'm hungry i just eat snack and light meal. 

I love city! Like my dorm is 20 minutes by train from city so it's a bit like "suburb" i finish school at 4.30 and daaaang there's nothing to do after that, yes clean up my room! ;) But overall beside my room and SINK, i love it heree, and the weather, also i still can't adapt with it, the wind is omagaaaaa so cold! Suddenly raining , windy, sunny, ah blah, 4 seasons in 1 day.

 My friends are from Laos, Vietnam, Thai, China, Arab, SriLanka, soo fun! Haha i hate marketing the most , like rmm , it's so hard to keep up with the lessons, i love communication&skill ! Imeldaaa i love you she's so niceeeeee and let you go home 30 minutes earlier haha go Imelda! I go to BIC , Bethany International Church, i love it thereeee , the atmosphere, everything about it is perfect! Thanks Jesus for leading me to the right place <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">