Dear Ivan Simeon :)

Sorry I cannot come to your farewell party, I missed the last chance to see you before you go. Anyway, thankyou for being such an incredible and unforgettable friend, thankyou for praying for me whenever I need it, you even prayed for me when I didn't ask you to. Thankyou for all advice that youve given bener2 thankyou. Thankyou for really just maintaining my spiritual growth, thankyou for really opening up my eyes to see Jesus more and more, growing closer to Him, knowing Him more and more, it's just been such a blessing to know you and become your best friend. 

I see that calling really strong that God has chosen you to be His servant, full time :) God really wants to use you incredibly amazing. That passion that you have , that fire, that burn for God, I can see that within you :) I pray for you that you will see God more and more, may He reveal Himself more as you walk with Him every single day. I pray may God put that thirst and hunger inside you that only Jesus can satisfy, I pray that wherever you are you will always bring that light, that overcome the darkness around you, light that will open up unbelievers to see Jesus, light that will bring repentance, and light that bring peace, change, joy, for your surrounding. 

May God sustain you with the Holy Spirit that He will guide you and lead you and tell you whatever God wants you to do, so that no longer you but Christ who lives in you (Galatians 2:20) I'm gonna miss you..terribly :( But I rejoice that you finally found your calling! That not everyone  gets that. Looking forward to seeing you again! jadi pendeta :D Hopefully you will be different from the rest, become God' servant that really takut sama Tuhan, doesn't tolerate sin, just speak whatever comes from God, preach it! May God protection be with you always, may He cover you with His blood. Good luck Ivan, so proud of you! SOOO PROUD! 

Psalm 21:6 

surely You have granted Ivan unending blessings and made Ivan glad with the joy of Your presence :)

One Step Ahead

My dinner :P

Last sunday in church, I clearly remember the altar call asked us to make commitment to Jesus, to pray 5 more mins than we usually do ( seek His presence) and be still and ask God what He wants us to do, the pastor then said "Maybe God want you to leave your comfort zone? For example, simple, start cooking?" Then I was like "Hmmm, God :/"

 Hahaha I had been afraid of fire for the past 18 years, I didn't even know how to use stove. I couldn't even stand near firework which is so beautiful. I'm blessed with family who can afford maids so I don't have to cook. Until I moved to Melbourne, I didn't bring my maid of course, hahaha so I have to do everything on my own including cooking and I kept saying to myself "I can't be like this forever, I mean I'm a woman and how can a woman cannot cook?! So embarrassing, I might be forever alone cos I cant' cook hahahaha :p" (Just kidding seriously I didn't say that one to myself) Then 3 days ago I planned to start cooking, I prayed to God "God please bless me, protect me, so that nothing bad will happen. I know You give me spirit of power and love not spirit of fear, so hear I am God taking one step ahead for You" Then I turned on the stove and nothing happened :D 

It's all about taking one step ahead. We cannot just be the same Christian for years, we must go to the next level, leave our comfort zone, and keep going up. Like ezekiel 47:3-5 the water was ankle deep, then the next thousand cubits, it rose, rose, until it was so deep anyone who cross would be drowned. It talks about Holy Spirit and next level. We should be so filled with holy spirit until He is the one who fully takes control of our life :)

Holaa, I'm back! Been so busy with moving out and stuff I was so exhausted and stressed out. But everytime I felt like I wanted to give up, Jesus always reminds me, that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Yes indeed, His sufficient for me tho I feel like giving up, I feel hopeless, I see His works, I see miracles happen. He's faithful and never once He leaves me. 

Jesus, I'm so madly,deeply, passionately in love with You. I've been learning about OBEDIENCE, been learning to obey what God asks me to do, and when we talk about OBEDIENCE we also talk about FAITH. They come together. We won't see miracles happen if we still rely on our logic (what we see), but when we have FAITH, we will see His miracles happen. I learn to obey Jesus, you know I've been praying for my family, but to be honest, I don't see any significant changes, I feel like, 'God I've been praying for a long time okay, why?!" I feel so disappointed, so hopeless, but I remember Isaiah 65:24 Before they call I will answer, while they are still speaking I will hear, I believe that God is actually listening to my problems, He already knows even before I tell Him, but why I still have to pray then? God is more concerned about your transformation, your obedience, your faith, a strong relationship with Him. 

Living Under God's Control

Today's sermon genuinelly touches my heart. 

LIVING UNDER GOD'S CONTROL

Life is so unpredictable. There's a time for good (desirable) and for bad (undesirable) and we cannot control them, So often we keep trying so hard to control our life so that good things will happen. But we don't realize how complex life is and it's to complex to be controlled. We aren't in control of our circumstances although we want to think that we can take control. God is the one who has control over our life, He has the authority to do anything He wants to do.

God can control our plans for our life but we can't control God's plans. Sometimes good things happen but many times bad things also happen in our life. And what happen to you when bad things happen to your life? For unbelievers, life will be meaningless, they will be upset and angry.

But for the children of God, every bad and good things that happen it means God's preparing a purpose for our life, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who LOVE GOD, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Rome 8:28)

 So for the believers, even bad things happen to their life, Life is still so beautiful, they don't lose hope, because they put their trust in God who's giving the best purpose for their life, life is so amazing because we have a great God, who's GOOD all the time. Even in bad times, praise him, say thanks, for every things that happen in our life doesn't coincidentally happen, God's working, God's preparing something Good for you, you don't have to worry. Everything happens @ the right time for a good purpose for us. 

I feel so blessed with today's sermon. It's just beyond beautiful. It reminds me all over again how great is my God. How good He is. I'm just amazed by Him. I put my life in His hands, though things don't go the way i've expected, but still my God is good, I can plan anything i want for my life but it's back to Him. He's the one who takes control over my life to bring a good purpose. 

From Out Of Nowhere

Procrastination results in sorrowful regret. Hahaha, I have 2 assignments, 1 due in 1 week reached 20%, another one in 2 weeks 0%, and I'll be kicked out soon and haven't done packing, but almost :) So today, 8.30 pm I decided to grab my devotional and started to have me and God time earlier than usual :) 

So it talks about From Out of Nowhere. We don't plan trouble, it comes on its own, out of nowhere. From my experiences, I always ask God "WHY" everytime bad things happen to me, but today I will learn to say "Thankyou Jesus" instead of blaming Him and become a demanding person. I realize that if life were easy, no problems, you are happy everyday, everything goes as you've planned, no sadness, no sorrow, I won't need God, I mean for what ? I'm happy all the time, nothing blocks my way, I will forget that Jesus is here, and maybe I will end up avoiding God because I'm afraid if I let God get involved in my life, He will reorganize plans that I've organized, take things that I love that actually for my own good according to His thought. 

Sometimes God has to crush you to the point you're weak, you can't do anything anymore, you have nothing left only God, because as 2 cor 12 : 9 says, For My power is made PERFECT in WEAKNESS. 

"What if Your blessings come through rain drops?"

"What if Your healing comes through tears?"

"What if trials of this life, is Your mercy in disguise?"

Laura Story - Blessings :)

House of Prayer

5:43pm, waiting for my laundry and I'm listening to Jadikanku rumah doaMu (Make me a house of prayer) by Pdt. Niko, haha I'm so lame yah maybe everyday listening to christian songs, but hey, it gives me strength and me time with Jesus :) 

Suddenly I remember all of my friends and families who haven't known who Jesus is, especially my family. I'm not exposing or something I wanna share because I believe that there are so many people go through the same thing like me. Everytime I see their pictures, I feel so sad, I mean, I want them to taste God's unfailing love, God's mercy, God's grace, how amazing it is to dwell in His presence. 

I feel so blessed like soooooo blessed that I came here to Melbourne and found a church that really builds me up, cell group, and encountered with God. And as I walk with Him, how I feel His love fills me everyday I feel like I have to share that love with those who haven't tasted it, and I know the most 'real' way to show them who don't believe in God  is through the way I live my life. I'm not in Indo with my family how can I show them physically that God lives in me? I show them that God lives in me through bbm, skype, instagram, anything that I can use to glorify His name, I'm not perfect and not everything that I post is right from other people' perspective, but I try my best. 

I've seen how my family's heart has become softer and softer each day, how they have opened their heart for Jesus little by little, it's not because I preach or whatever, it's truly because God works in them! Verse that I always hold on tight is Acts 16:31 Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved- you and your household! 

I pray to God that don't give up on me till every knees bows and every tongue confesses that Jesus is the Lord. I have faith yes and amen that all my families and friends will eventually turn back to Jesus, and confesses that He's the Lord, He's real, and He's the God that has been there for them, blessing them, and He's the provider! 

I can't change people' heart, no matter how hard I preach, it requires God's work, and it all comes back to His time. My lil sister who is in Indo texted me once about my family how they have opened their ear & heart to hear "Jesus", i'm speechless, and I cried , and I couldn't stop saying , God thankyou Jesus, thankyou. He works in mysterious ways that I will never be able to grasp. My biggest goal in my life, is to be a channel of blessings for many people, believers or unbelievers, sound so impossible and naif and too religious, It's hard I know, it requires a heart that fully wants to serve others without grumbling, love without boundaries, heart that fully wants to forgive. How I want my life to be a house of prayer :)

A Perfect Day

3.40 am in the morning. Working on my assignment but really am I really working? Noo. Been opening mic word & excel since 11 pm but yaah you can see I've been procrastinating all night. This teacher is a bit, hmm, indescribable, it's due in week 10, but he sets due date for each part, seriously? Just sit tight and I'll hand it in week 10. I was youtube-ing and found this video :

This song really cheers me up :D 'A Perfect Day'  and also the MV! Totally describes my fav weather. Blue skies & sunshine :D! Listen to this song just somehow makes me relax and happy!! 

Anyway today 3 of my cell leaders, told me things that actually not really surprising because I've already known but hearing that news from their mouth just somehow opened my eyes more, I'm not sad, disappointed yes I'm human haha but overall, I'm okay with it. Because I believe, every single person that has ever been in my life and still in my life, wether they gave bad memories or good memories, God uses them to teach me lessons, and God has a good purpose for me :) Just His way to bring me to that purpose that I will never be able to understand. 

I have to admit I had the best hmm almost 2 months maybe in my life, happiness that I felt everyday, the smile, they were beautiful but just not at the right time :) I always thank God to give me an ability to keep smiling no matter what happens in my life, somehow I just can't stop smiling, there are times when I just want to cry but it doesn't take long for me to smile again hehehe. Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! 

After all things that happened in my life, I learn so many lessons :

1.I become more dependent on Jesus

I've been praying lately, God make me lonely till I want no one more than You Lord! 

Shouldn't have asked for that haha. But God really answered my prayer. He took away someone that used to be my someone. At the first time, I was like, really God? Why that someone? But as the time went by I realized, isn't that supposed to be? My someone should be one and only Jesus? Why I put someone else above Him? Isn't that my prayer? I want no one more than Him? I have trust issue with people actually, eventho I may seem like an extrovert person, I can get along with people that I just met 5 mins ago, I have that trust issue because of my past :) But again, God uses anything anyone doesn't have to be good things to teach me lesson and here I learn to trust Him completely. 

2. I learn to forgive and keep on loving like Jesus loves me :)

If you were in my position especially girls, you would struggle with forgiving people. Hahaha but really, I  FORGIVE :) and I'm learning how to apologize first now hopefully as soon as possible I can approach people that  hurt me and say sorry first :)

3.I become closer with my friends especially my FA

I hang out with them a lot and share stories and well, so blessed that they even pray for me!

4.I know more about people' personality 

5.I know more about myself

But really I think the key is, forgiveness. If you feel too bitter, there's nothing you can do but COME TO GOD. No one can force you or encourage you to forgive people. Ask Jesus to soften your heart <3 nbsp="" p="">

As a human, I have brain which contains memories hahaha and so many times even little things can remind you of people that have ever been in your life and as for me memories that bother me are sad memories that bring bitterness, but I always smile and listen to this kind of song if I can't think of any christian songs at that time, and say or write "I FORGIVE" :)

If you lose

Forgiveness

I join sort of Bible Study at my church and yesterday I learned about forgiveness. Ko Suyono, who was the teacher that day, he talked about FORGIVENESS. It was a slap in my face, he said that mostly in relationship you will be hurt but who are you not willing to forgive the one that hurts you? Even Jesus forgives you so many many many times, uncountable. He's God, He's the creator of this earth, He's Holy, He's King, but still He forgives you. If we confess our sin, He is FAITHFUL, and just will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). 

See? He remains faithful even after we fail Him, and He even purify us from all unrighteousness! So undeserved but that's our God, He's love (1 John 4:8). And Ko Suyono said, if you don't want to forgive those who hurt you then you say that you are The God right? You are higher than God, this sentence such a slap in my faceeeee! I'm nothing but a dust even the King forgives people. He has been crucified, mocked, tortured, etc, you know the story, still on the cross He said "Father, FORGIVE them, for they don't know what they are doing (Luke 23:34). He made me speechless, the way they hurt Jesus can't compare to what my friends, my family, etc hurt me, totally nothing but still Jesus prayed for those people and forgave them.

And still often we deny ourselves we say "I've already forgiven him/her but when we meet the person who hurts us, it's so hard to say Hi, to approach them first, to call them and hang out together. One thing that I still learn today is how to forget. You can forgive people but I agree that the scars remain years and years even forever, you can't just forget things that they've done that hurt you, words they've said that hurt you and there's still a bitterness in your life and I don't want to feel bitter for the rest of my life, but how to forget? I still learn that. I have been through up and down in this life, family, friends, relationship, a lot of things. I'm not exaggerating I just won't share my past here, past is past, and so many things hurt me but thanks Jesus, He's healed my heart and made it new, out of brokenness comes good things :) 

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and FORGIVE one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

Rules

I'm in the middle of doing my hair now, preparing myself for church tomorrow because I have to go at 7.30am I don't wanna be in rush lol, then suddenly this thing popped out in my mind.

Girls or boys whatever if you want to set up kind of "rules" for your bf or gf, make sure those are NOT rules that make them obey you and if they disobeyed those rules they would feel guilty and afraid of losing you, set up rules according to God, for example I always tell guy who is close with me not to go clubbing, drink beers and smoke, those are big NO! I don't want him not to do that because of me, I want him not to do that because those things don't please God, and anything that doesn't please God is a sin. And I want him to realize that 1 Cor 10:23 All things are lawful but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up, does smoking build you up? Does going to the club build you up? I still don't know if clubbing is a sin or not I think there are still pros and cons but personally I won't go for that, as it doesn't benefit me and I don't want to be addicted to it and separates me from God and it doesn't please God at all. So, yah haha that's my opinion. No hate. Back to the topic, so set rules based on bible, not based on your opinion, because bible is the eternal word of God (Matt 24:35) and Unchanging revelation of the truth.

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am i trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I wouldn't be a servant of Christ.
Acts 5:29 We must obey God rather than men.
Make sure you both please Him not pleasing one another. 

John 4 : 14

"But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal" 

Our soul desperately craves to be saturated, therefore people will always try to find something to worship that will saturate their soul. And in order to satisfy their thirst, they come to the wrong well (earthly pleasures that we know they aren't everlasting).

I see a lot of people, they seem to have a perfect life, life fill of unicorns and rainbows, yet still they don't feel enough, they don't feel happy. They keep on searching and they never be satisfied, they keep wanting more and they become stress and not happy at all

Because God actually put a hole in our heart that only Himself can satisfy. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).

Lately I've been listening to Casting Crowns - The Well, it was played in my church during good friday service. "I have what you need but you keep on searching, I've done all the work, but you keep on working. You can spend your whole life chasing what's missing but that empty inside it just ain't gonna listen. When nothing can satisfy, just come to the well. All who thirst will thirst no more, they will find what their souls long for, the world will try but it can never fill. Leave it all behind, your pursuit of perfection, your fear of rejection, temporary pleasures, earthly pleasures, leave it all behind, and come to the well" :)

LOVE

LOVE such a beautiful word but it's being abused nowadays. The word's become so cheap and this beautiful word can lead people to wrong directions. I don't find any real and perfect love in human. But everytime I imagine LOVE that Jesus's given to me, all my bad thoughts about love suddenly disappear. I mean like, God's love is real, it's not only written in the scripture, but I feel it every single day as I walk with Him. To be honest, in relationship with human, there will always be disappointments, hurts, sadness, tears, but in Jesus I find peace, comfort, joy, that come from brokenness that I feel with people.

I'm reading a book by Chad Eastham about "The Truth About Dating , Love, and Just Being Friends"
It's for teen, and I recommend this book. What I wanna share here, is about Just Being Friends. "Just Friends" is tough to hear when you're hoping for much more. But let's not let the term just friend minimize friendship. You can be just friends with an opposite sex, if you view your opposite sex as potential for romantic relationships, then you are limiting the human experience. And if you put your romance goggles to view them, then a few things will happen :

1. You'll only be looking at people to see what they can do for your needs.
2. You will miss out on people's unique identities, because you will limit them to their romantic capacity.
3. You will be ignoring the importance of wisdom of seeing one another as "brothers and sisters" in Christ, which opens up relationship well beyond just the romantic aspects.
4. You will miss out on learning self-control and the experience of shaping your minds and hearts through your behaviour. You don't have to be controlled by every thought and urge that pops up.

It's hard to be just friends I know, I've ever experienced this before. It's hard to let go people who care for you that you think none of your friends can care for you that much. Once you have felt how God really loves you, God alone is enough. Put God as your first priority, He will lead you to the right person at the right time.

So when you are still single (Doesn't mean when you are in relationship you don't need to serve Him :p) , use your time wisely to serve Him, get to know Him more, get to know His heart. It's hard to do that simply because we can't see God, but personally I believe, that His love is everywhere surrounding me, He use anything anyone to show His love for me, even from brokenness He shows His love, cause I believe His plans aren't harmful, but they give hope and future (Jer 29 : 11)

Love isn't only a term between boyfriend girlfriend, it's much more than that, James 4: 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. As last week sermon said, don't be afraid to miss out things in this world to get better things in The Heaven later. Chase God first! Without men God is still God, but men without God is nothing. You don't have to be afraid, the right one has been prepared by God, win God's heart first. Maybe you've been in love so many times but you ended up getting hurt, have you ever thought that maybe that's one of God's way to remind you that you need to fix your relationship with Him first, be thirst of His love, come to His well.

Have you imagined losing someone that means everything to you ? Can you imagine you find the one that you love suddenly disappears the next day? Or he leaves you ? Or he finds someone else ? Someone that makes you laugh, makes you happy, suddenly changes 180 degree the next day ? 

That's how I feel right now, how after everything that we've been through, i mean nothing to him ? I just can't imagine that kind of feeling. If only we could set up someone's feeling , If only we could hold them like a money, we can see whether they are real or not. But then by doing so, we lean on our own strength, because "Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight" 

 I pray to God everyday, you know what's amazed me from God ? I know I can talk to Him about anything, just anything, I can talk about silly things, my fears, what happen today , just anything to Him, just like a child sharing her story to her parents, that's how I talk to God, but yah, I know it's hard, it needs FAITH, because you're talking to someone that you can't see, that may not directly talk to you, or whisper to your ear, but as 2 Corinthians 5:7 says "We live by faith not by sight" . Lately, I've been receiving tons of negativity from people around me, like everything I do isn't good, isn't right, it puts me under pressure and sometimes it distracts me from God , 1 Corinthians 2 : 5 So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. 

I'm afraid that how if someone that's close with me isn't the right one , so many doubts, insecurities, fears, I pray to God that He shows and leads me to the right way, if he's not the one then let it be, don't let my sadness, broken heart, etc drift me away from Him because I know Phillipians 2 : 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. I know God's in control. Each person that comes to our life is God's gift, God has something that He wants to deliver to us through those people,  Romans 8 :28 And we know that in all things(Good&Bad) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Happiness Comes from a Pair of Jelly Sandals

Today I bought a pair of transparent Jelly Sandals and i'm so happpppyyy!

I asked my friends what they think about it and all said they are ugly and some said so weird haha. But i don't know i like it so much! It's comfy and so simple and so clean and also so vintage haha. I don't care what they say I'm happy with my choice :p 

Then this story reminds me of 2 weeks of my gloomy days. I've been so gloomy eversince I came back from Indonesia like I think a lot and everything just distracted me from God. I've been thinking negatively about my friends, school, boy, etc and now , tonight I've just realized that's not me at all like totally not me. The most unbelievable thing is that I felt like people that are close with me don't love me sincerely and they were just being fake. I felt like all these times I love them so much but why they acted like that? And I started to think that if I feel disappointed with them that means I don't love them sincerely enough because God says "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love" ( Ephesians 4:2). I should love them without hoping they love me back (That's my flesh still fail :) ) because that's how Jesus loves me, He loves me just the way I am, He loves me because He wants to not because I love Him first. 

Then about boy, yaah so I heard rumors that saying he likes someone that I know haha and it did hurt me and I started to feel like I'm ugly I'm nothing I'm not pretty I just compared myself to her everything I say every thoughts that came up all just negativity and I feel like Wow, I'm not being grateful at all "For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving" (1 Timothy 4:4), 

So yaaah all my negative thoughts definitely saying that I didn't respect God's creature. And from this jelly shoes, I learn a lot, that we shouldn't judge someone by his/her appearances, as my friends said that this is ugly but they maybe havent seen how beautiful it is if I wear it with right clothes, and I feel happy and it fits me well and yah I feel good :) It's just like what's important is not what people think about you but the most important thing is how You are in front of God. And you are worthy and you are loved and you are everything to Him, He sacrificed His Son to wash away your and my sins, there's no greater love than this. 

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Laura Story - Blessings

I've just found this song and feel so blessed. Too often we doubt our God when we're facing difficult times, like, "Is God really there?" "Then why He lets me face this problem?" Then this lyric reminds me over and over again how God never leaves me alone, like NEVER. I'm trying to look the problems that i'm facing from different perspective, like this "What if trials on this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are His mercies in disguise?" I know my God never lets me face problems that He knows i can't handle. And i believe through every rain, every storms, every hard nights He has a beautiful plan for me, He has a disguise purpose for my life. "You can't see the rainbow without the rain". "What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?" If you drink 'water' from this world you will always be thirsty, the water from God can satisfy your thirst, and you won't be thirsty anymore (John 4 : 14 But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.) 

Almost 2 months ! hehe i love melbourne so far! I'm getting used to living in my room, which i've been complaining over and over again. 

Today's BETHANY INTERNATIONAL CHURCH christmas celebration 'More Than a Story' :D I feel blessed for the church God has led me to :) I love my fellowship group, the koko2 cici2 who are so nice and friendly and take a good care of me. I love my church, i just feel so into it and it brings me closer to God, i feel excited to go to church every sunday and join the community and events they hold. 

I wanna share what i got today from the church. Christmas is more than a story that we hear every year, there's more than that, It's about how we share the love, how we throw away our selfishness, how we pray for the others more than we pray for ourselves, how we throw away our "My,myself,I" thing. Repent,repent,repent, it's never been too late for God, open your heart for Him, give Him space, surrender all Your life to Him, all of your heart. Ask Him to give you the holy spirit, so in every season, every good and bad times, you will be reinforced by the holy spirit so when the bad things hit you, you won't rely on human, you won't look for them anymore, you will look for Jesus, the one and only. You won't rely your life on human anymore, you will surrender everything and trust Him that He's the only one who can solve your problem. And let the holy spirit overflow your heart so that you can be a channel of blessing for the other people, for your surroundings, for your friends, for your families, etc. Humble yourself and ask God to fill you with Holy Spirit so that in every move you make and everything you do God work upon it through the Holy spirit so only God' will work upon it, no more "My plan" "My will' etc, He loves you soo much, he has died for you on the cross, why do you still doubt Him that He has the best plan for you, He takes care of you, He helps you to solve your problem, He's there for you. If He hadn't loved you , He wouldn't have died on cross to save you :) God bless you !

Happy Graduation Day Cindy Tandiyah! 

I'm so proud of you ! All your hard work paid off finally ! You look so beautiful in your own made dress ;') I wish i could be there but i can't. My prayers go without wherever you are wherever you go. May Jesus bless you in every step that you take and every move you make. No you are entering a new world, not as a student anymore, but as a full time worker. May He bless you in every decision you make and i know you will be very very successful ;') I see how God works upon your life, for every sorrow, tears, ups and downs, He never disappoints you right  ? It may be hard to understand His plans at first but you see how everything is perfect and beautiful at His time. You're such an inspiration and role model. I miss you so bad and I want to see you in that dress in real but maybe later ;') I love you so much and can't wait to see you. Keep praising His name because without Him you can't be there today :') Remember everytime you feel sad and down, JESUS IS THERE !!!! HE'S RIGHT BESIDE YOU AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FEEL HIS PRESENCE !!!!! HUG HIM FIND HIM !!! ;') 

First post from Melbourneeeeeeee! Hahaha i'm here finallyyyy !! Living my new life, new experiences, new environment, breaking out my comfort zone !! I adapt very fast here, except for the room, it's so hard to be an underaged student, can't have my own apartment, can't make a contract for mobile phone, people ask so many things if you want to buy something like modem! yesss i bought modem last week and the seller asked so many things, passport , id card, phone number, credit card blah blah blaaaaaah.

 I don't really like my room, i'm a very clean person tbh, i wanna throw up if i see something dirty and ah i don't know if i tell you personally you will think i'm weird but seriously i'm a very hygienic person so yaaa i spend 2 hours everyday cleaning up my room! And i get a very weird phobia and , it is sink's hole! OMG this is so weird i know but i find something like sticks inside the hole omagaomagaaa i can't tell you how much i hate it! It's very disgusting nooo way ! i close my eyes everytime i wash my face and brush teeth because i don't want to see the hole ! I just can't adapt with the room. 

But i have to admit life is so different now, you are forced to be independent, no maids, no drivers, oh! I have my toes scuffed because i walked too long, haha yes! And i learn how to use washing machine aka laundry! first time in my life haha when i first used it i was like "Oh, so this is how it works" The sad thing is still, i can't cook and i can't use stove, so i have to buy food outside which is more expensive and blaah, when i'm hungry i just eat snack and light meal. 

I love city! Like my dorm is 20 minutes by train from city so it's a bit like "suburb" i finish school at 4.30 and daaaang there's nothing to do after that, yes clean up my room! ;) But overall beside my room and SINK, i love it heree, and the weather, also i still can't adapt with it, the wind is omagaaaaa so cold! Suddenly raining , windy, sunny, ah blah, 4 seasons in 1 day.

 My friends are from Laos, Vietnam, Thai, China, Arab, SriLanka, soo fun! Haha i hate marketing the most , like rmm , it's so hard to keep up with the lessons, i love communication&skill ! Imeldaaa i love you she's so niceeeeee and let you go home 30 minutes earlier haha go Imelda! I go to BIC , Bethany International Church, i love it thereeee , the atmosphere, everything about it is perfect! Thanks Jesus for leading me to the right place <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

There's only one week left. I really don't wanna think about next week. I'm starting to feel so mournful and sad. Like, i just don't know how to describe my feeling right now, i'm not ready at all to let go everything that i have here. I will miss my chinese tutor, like she has been teaching me since i was 8 or 9 , and now i'm 17 years old, that's crazy right?! She is the best and she knows me very well. I will miss my parents as well but you know there's a difference between parents that will always be there for you no matter what and they are like continuously has a relation with you that will never end no matter how far you are with them. I just feel so sad you know, it's hard to break out your comfort zone and reach your dreams, you have to sacrifice a lot, including your feelings. I'm feeling so anxious right now, i wanna cry but i can't and i don't want to.