It's official, i'm leaving for melbourne on september 28th. I'm actually good enough at pretending how excited i'm to move , but i'm struggling inside my heart , i don't really feel like leaving at all. I wanna be here with my parents and my sisters. Well, im typing this with tears running down my cheeks, haha weird but yes it's getting harder day by day. I've never been so far away for a long time from my family esp. my mom. I'm positioning myself now closer to my parents especially my mom bcs it's a natural thing that daughter is closer to mom but that doesn't make me love my dad any less.
I've just got my visa done about 3 days ago and today i bought the tixs to melb. I've got everything that i need later, but i don't know, my heart's shaking and doubting the leaving as everything's well prepared. I saw how my mom and dad work so hard to fly me away to college and all the efforts they have made for me is priceless, it can't be measured by anything in this world. They are so busy preparing everything for me, like i don't know what to do without them. Actually i kinda get annoyed everytime they tell me to study hard, deep deep deep inside my heart i've made myself promises , i've made commitments that i have to be successful later, no excuses. I will pay off all my parents sacrifices later, i know i can't pay off their love, but at least i wanna make them proud of me, and all the sacrifices they've made must not go waste.
I hate to think about next 3,5 years when i've finished my bachelor degree, i'm going to be a 20 year old girl(?) no i don't want to be called a woman or lady because it makes me feel like i'm not a kid anymore that can sleep right beside my mom cuddle with her and do stuffs that i used to do. I'm forever my parents' little girl. I hate growing up , but that's part of life.
I hope that when i leave there will be no tears , like please... ? i'm begging... I'm leaving for good, for college , you guys should be happy for me, i don't want to leave with burdens in my heart, I want you to be excited for me as well. I mean it if you cry i will be soooo saaaaaaaad to leave, so please, don't cry please... I want everyone to be happy like for once in my life please... It will become harder for me to leave if you guys cry and don't wanna let me go... i know you guys don't wanna let me go but please at least pretend like you want. Especially for my parents, they will accompany me there for a week and mom please don't cry yah, enjoy your life here, be happy, and don't worry because i will be fine ;) just keep doing what you like to do, go to salon, go shopping, hang out with your friends, acupuncture :) And dad, keep diving and going to diving places that you've been dreaming of, but don't go to loonggg ! And dad, don't smoke too often, i want you to concern your health :) And for my sisters, keep being crazy and touching each other' ass ! haha YOLO! So please no cry yah be excited and happy for me please, please , please, if you don't want me to leave with burdens in my heart then please don't cry, together we celebrate my leaving for good with laughters and smile ;) I'll be back on december kok, and i'll be going home very often i promise, you guys don't come here please, the tix is very expensive and the hotel too so it will be better if i myself come home ;) I just hope you guys see this post and promise that you won't cry! :))
